The Competitive Advantage
  • Most people don't think much about the best way to say something to move someone else, to say it in their words rather than your own. 
  • Most people don't learn the other side's position intimately, and build trust by presenting it back to them.
  • Most people are reactive in conflict. When the going gets tough, their emotions drive their decision making, and they can be no more effective than the next person.
  • Most people lecture, huff, puff, and take offense.
  • Most people don't strategize.
Which is to say that when high levels of persuasive impact are called for, most people, most of the time, are inefficient.

If you can think when others react, step back while those about you lose their composure, engage with purposeful questions rather than lecturing, if you see the dynamics of conflict unfolding before you as if in slow motion, if you enter the fray with a plan, if you are indefatigably charming even under pressure, you will give yourself choices others lack, and you will outperform.

You will be the calmest, most strategic person in the room.